Know your boss - know thyself

I have conducted tons of interviews, many sessions and participated in quite a few seminars. No matter what the subject, one of my favorite question to the audience is "Are you here to succeed?" and invariably I hear "YES". In 18 years I have not found anyone who is genuine enough to say "I am here to fail". Yet statistics suggest that most of the projects fail or get derailed or delayed. There are many authors, great pundits, websites who thrive on this sole topic.

However I firmly believe that the answer lies within us + the team and not outside. Majority of the failures are due to the 'make' (attributes or characteristics) of the people, and hardly has anything to do with technical competence of the team.
No matter how simple or complex the project might be, one can very easily know the outcome of the project, even before the start of the same, by simply understanding the make/attributes/characteristics of the people that forms the team.

HOW - I find lot of similarities between project, project members and makeup of the train. Visualize project as a time bound journey, in-between stations as milestones and members of the project as onboard people. There are distinct key actors that make the wholesome composition interesting or worst. However the biggest difference being there is no physical track and all the compartments/members are not neatly coupled - and that is what makes the projects even more interesting.

Let us now meet these various interesting train characters. By the end of this session, I promise, you would be able to figure out the outcome of any project or how you can contribute to make the project successful. 



The Guard...
These type of people are extremely calm and soothing in nature. From the time they embark for the journey they await for the next station, so that they can free their legs, get something to eat/drink. To pass the time they can engage actively in any social topics and would have various interesting stories to share. They are excellent planners and in between stations you will see them completing some of their personal activities, as planned. These people are extremely good in relaying the information, from anywhere to anywhere - true unadulterated status. You will hardly see them agitated, and they rarely exhibit sense of urgency/eagerness/excitement during the entire journey.

They like the journey to be as easy as possible, so delays are OK with them. In many ways they are not time sensitive but are very good time keepers, so would be prompt in understanding 'In how much time the next station would come, is the train likely to get delayed etc' - the overall status. These folks are likely to be fond of processes and would have ardent belief that if processes are in place then everything would fall in place automatically.

These people exactly know the final destination, they are aware of all the intermediate (stations) milestones, they know the ETA for each of the stations and the final destination. The only problem is that they do not exactly know how to reach there, and thus the ETA keeps on changing.

Naturally these members likes to stay in the last compartment, behind everyone else. As a boss these people are likely to pamper the juniors, and most of the members would feel relaxed and comfortable - A true experience of silent postman.


Ticket Checker...
These type of people rarely carry any expressions on their face but posses a sharp eye. A true ticket checker can sniff who is travelling without ticket, these people can sniff the exact status of every individual - who is on schedule, who is delayed etc. These people are extremely active on stations as well as during the journey. Unlike the guard, these people can make the defaulters pay either by bribe or fine, so they possess a natural talent of getting tasks done, by hook or by crook. They are likely to get delayed in reaching the destination but surely do reach. Like people embark/disembark on stations, these people unloads completed tasks on a station and piles on new tasks for the next station.

These people are governed by the rules and once a rule is made it is there for life, so they make excellent law enforcer. These people have a nack of looking at bare tasks, they hardly try to seek the context, hence may not be creative. These people are likely to get rattled if unknown things surfaces out - they get and stay confused until the point a new rule is made, so naturally these people are not good with changes / repriortization of activities.

Like the guard, these people have a belief that everyone onboard is aware of his milestones and knows how to get there. These people are fond of specifications/documentation, may it be requirements or design or whatever. These people are also excellent record keepers.

Naturally these members like to stay in action throughout the journey, but will never step in the guards compartment or the engine - it is not in the rule. As a boss these people are likely to be strict but at the same time would be friendly as well.


Fellow Passenger...
These type of people carry lost expressions on their face as they live in their dream land. Often they can make you feel as if they are forced into the journey, and want the journey to be over asap. Also most of them would have something to crib about, always, may it be cleanliness, rules, heat, facilities, speed of the train, number of halts made, greenery seen during the journey or lack of it, peers, boss, subordinates or the work itself. Rarely you see a passenger who claims that the journey was good, without adding few other adjectives, but that is the nature.

These people are governed by feelings and rarely by objectives. They are the one who sees greenery outside. So they look at tasks as technical tasks rather than a piece to achieve the bigger picture. They have this unique strength to take tasks as they come, but rarely they would bother to understand the context - the WHY piece might go missing. At every station they give a sigh of relief and recount the remaining stations until the final destination.

As true attributes of passengers these people can surprise you - some times they are extremely well behaved and at times they are chaotic. Sometimes they can achieve difficult tasks with ease and at times they can make a mess of even simple tasks. Ultimately these are the folks which brings spice to the journey and make it a wholesome experience - they form the mass. At times we have seen them indulge in some heated discussion with the ticket checker. However they have this intimate belief that the guards compartment or the engine is a forbidden place for them.

Naturally these members can be seen all over the place, giving moments of surprises throughout the journey. As a boss these people are likely to surprise you every now and then and could be extremely tough or extremely easy to deal with - a true roller-coaster ride.


The Engine Driver...
These type of people can carry any expressions on their face and the expression depends upon the context and the situation of the project. As engine is the source of energy, these people are full of it, and it is very likely that energy can generate heat leading to friction. Generally these are not lovable people because they are constantly at you and can intimidate you, but are adorable if you are not part of their journey!

These are the people with clear vision of the road ahead and when in doubt they seek clarity. They have the nack to see the obstacles far ahead of time and to have a clear track they will blow the horn aloud that can even blow the minds out. Many people around, because they are kept awake and on their toes, doubt and often have claimed to have seen shades of phsyco in the engine driver.

For them the journey is a mission and that is how they approach every station (milestone). They truly believe that a fine is going to be imposed on them if they are late, so are extremely time conscious, and prefer to wait in the outer yard if the platform is not free, rather than whiling time on the way. For reasons if they are late in reaching a station, they can double the speed to recover the lost time - thus can act as extremely good recovery agents.

You find such people extremely comfortable when there is mist/fog or there is low visibility, or the journey needs to pierce through range of mountains full of twist and turns - simply when challenges/risks are thrown at them, it turns them ON.

Naturally these members are in action throughout the journey, and like to be ahead of the band. As a boss these people are likely to show flair, wisdom, abundant energy but when they sense delays speed would automatically double-up causing friction and sparks - a true thrill of crossing the chasm.



Well with this we conclude all the key characters that can form the 'make' of your team along with what each can bring to the table.
So next time you embark on any journey make sure you inspect the 'make' of thyself and other members accompanying you, including your boss - and you can still make the difference, you just need to choose who you would like to be - The Guard, The Ticket Checker, The Engine Driver or just another fellow passenger.
Bon Voyage!!!

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Modernization viz Outsourcing, Social networking, High tech standards like CMM/Six Sigma and Google has made a huge impact - especially on the outlook of the software professionals.
Today software professionals are extremely trendy, smart and practical.

This article tries to touch base on some of the impacts of modernization PLUS why and how myself (and most of the old fashioned professionals like me) have become "Outdated".

　

Trends have changed, and so has the taste
I have been asked many times by most of the budding folks - Which technology is currently "HOT"? Invariably every time I hear the question I am clean bowled.

Old fashioned professionals, and especially me, firmly believe that only models/actress could be "HOT", BUT looks like the trend hence the 'taste' of the folks have changed so dramatically that now professionals think iPhone/iPad as "HOT", while Android is "KEWL", C/C++ is "DULL" and Java as "BORING".

I believe this is what they say as generation gap and we would always struggle to catch up with these new trends and fast developing next gen 'taste', no surprises here!

　

Choosing a stream/label is a nightmare
Old fashioned software professional life was very simple - We used to be either a systems programmer (smart guys - IIT / IIM / MCA folks), or applications programmer(average guys - all other streams). We were either labeled as Assembly/C/C++, Cobol or DBase progammer. Later Java / MFC / CGI brought some spice and varitation to our lives. Other possible flavors to decorate oursleves were terms like windows, unix - and something called as mainframe. No efforts were required to stand out in the crowd - simply saying I am a programmer was more than sufficient.

However today software professionals have to deal with far too many options. Invention of Web and mobile PLUS dozens of frameworks which are born everyday have literally created havoc.
To STAND OUT in the crowd you have to classify yourself as iPhone or Android or Web application developer. You have to further classify yourself as either a frontend or backend developer.
Life does not end there, telling I know J2EE is not good enough - you have to distinguish as Core Java, with/without multi threading, JSF, JSP, EJB, Struts, Spring, Hibernate etc. and further need to SPICE it up with distinct versions. So today I have to decorate myself with EJB 1.0, 1.1, 1.2.1, 2.3, 3.0 and finally XX.XX. I hope you got the point.

　

Portfolio / Versatile image management
Earlier the struggle was 'What more to write in the resume', today the struggle is 'What all to hide in this resume'!

Old fashioned professionals hardly needed to maintain their resume. It was a piece of paper which was rarely used. People, like Fevicol, use to get glued to their organization or their boss. Even if there was a need to change then, as years use to pass by, the only addition used to be the new projects worked - Simple and sweet.

Today having just one resume, in itself, is deemed "Outdated". Now one has to manage something called as his/her portfolio. I have even heard that, as per new dfacto standard, one must atleast have 3 to 4 distinct resumes targeted at different positions, representing different skills/expertise and decorated with different projects and/or with different flavours of roles/responsibilities executed in the same project!

Today there are free or paid services/consultants which suggests how to make your portfolio more attractive, lean, sleek, slender, and last but not the least, YET make it appear as genuine.

AH! and that is not all, further more, one has to manage this sleek slender portfolio across different job portals and various social networking sites - PHEW!
　

　

SLA driven life and social networking
Standards like CMM or Six Sigma have also made a huge impact. Today everything is SLA driven. I have heard, some of the professionals crib that they are helpless but have to oblige to these new social standards - and in order to keep up with the pace, one has to change his/her mobile within 3 to 5 months, girl/boy friend within 6 to 8 months AND most importantly employer within 12 to 18 months.

The latest market predictions suggests that more and more stringent SLA's would continue to emerge - so the norms I have stated above might be deemed as outdated, already.

To add to the agony now everything is public - Reviews take place on facebook, you get tons of instant comments. It does not matter, whether you comply or non-conform to the SLA, the world starts tweeting - you are always in the news.
　

　

Subscription based model and Outsourcing
Earlier most of the decisions were taken under the able guidance of the elders. There was some belief that elders have more wisdom than us. Also there was little or no funda of choice, the first offer was considered as the best offer. Cribs were also very limited, and adjustments were made to maintain the relationship.

Today things are different.
Now one can happily outsource/subscribe for almost any of the services including dating, matrimonial, personal predictions/forecast, make my trip, jobs and more.

Now mail box is flooded with emails suggesting that it is high time I change my job or how other jobs are more suited to me.
In the recent years, the most common reason heard, for job change is - 'For better prospect'. Does not matter, a few months ago the same folks might have said the same things - BUT STILL.

Statistics suggest that percentile of switching jobs earlier was way too less and could easily beat the fuel price hike that happens every alternate day, today.
In a nutshell, it appears that today there are many external agents (services/outsourced models) that drives, rather forces, professionals to take such instant decisions.

　

I have even heard predictions that professionals would soon start subscribing to the tasks they like to perform. They can avail the facility to 'unsubscribe' to any of the tasks, if felt inappropriate or uncomfortable - No questions asked and ZERO revocation fee.
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Shortcuts are OK!

Well I have heard somewhere - "Shortcut leads to HELL or DISASTER"
Having heard that, still, there are many occasions where we are forced to take shortcuts.

Examples of such shortcuts could be

• Trying to deliver a working functionality/solution rather than a optimally working functionality/solution.
• Taking a deviation to be able to reach a logical point, where set of functions can be delivered.
• Choosing to deliver partially working functionality (not covering all the scenarios), to ensure that the functions delivered are atleast demoable or to refrain from delivering half-baked functionality.
• Swapping some of the planned functionality/tasks with some other functionality/tasks.
• In some cases entirely skipping/omitting a set of functions or tasks.
• In simple terms, committing or promising something and not standing up to the promise to its entirety.

Bottomline - We end up taking shortcuts, thus delivering different items than expected. 


To me, shortcut is a natural phenomenon and one could choose to take shortcuts either due to personal priority or time crunch or unforeseen events or unforeseen requirements or missed out items or a combination of these aspects and more.
From a professional or business or deliverable perspective I call such decisions as "adjustments".


So when can we call shortcut as legitimate adjustment?
Shortcut can be called as adjustment ONLY WHEN some fundamental governing principles are also observed or accompanied with. 

Some of the key governing principles are as follows 

• Such decisions are not last minute runtime decisions but are made well in advance of the actual delivery date. The advance term can vary from 1 to 10 working days or even more depending upon the nature of the job BUT definitely not on the day of delivery.
• Such decisions are never made by a lone person but is always a group / team decision reached with mutual consent.
• Such decisions are chosen for simplicity rather than convenience or ease. When I say simplicity meaning accompanied with a suitable and substantial rational. I like to stress upon 'rational' as that holds the key.
• All the parties are intimated in advance about the same - ensuring no last minute surprises. Transparency is a must!
• Such decisions definitely MUST accompany a subsequent plan to complete the deviations.
• The timeline for completion should never be far stretched, infact it has to be "as early as possible". As human beings we tend to forget things and later such missed out items often come and BITE us. 
• Such decisions help save the FACE rather than falling FLAT on it.

To conclude...
"Sensible adjustments might lead to enhanced trust thus glory - Shortcuts will definitely lead to HELL or DISASTER"

So cheers to adjustment - cheers to your glory!!!

Appraisal - Are you ready? [Part III]

In our earlier conversation [Part II] we introspected and discovered that appraisal, in reality, is a very simple and straight forward activity - ONLY if we choose to keep it that way.

We know that appraisal is correlated with pay hikes, increments, bonus, promotions. So in this section we will try to inspect the key factors that could and does affect these numbers or the final outcome.
Outcome can be in terms of the actual rating/ranking you get, along with the other good news we all are keen to hear -- the revised offer letter.

So the key factors that largely affect the numbers = market condition and forecast, organization profit, your project(s) performance and finally your performance.
Ah! it is not only about revenue earned, it is also about cost saved. There are many examples where organizations profit numbers have looked more handsome, by sensible cost savings. There are many other factors as well, but I hope you get the gist of the story.

Here is a simple chart devised to effectively calculate performance. Do add as much SPICE as possible to make it more stringent (better for you)!

Finally...
If you want to get good or better ratings year after year, then simply continue to perform relentlessly.

One important point, as you take (or are given) new responsibilities, you are expected to learn many new things along the way, and if you are unable to cope well, then your ratings are likely to dip - Consider this as the time to adapt to next level.

Also as you move up the chain the % hike is likely to reduce over period of time. Interestingly as you move up the chain you are expected to own more risks, so there is a likely hood that you get a promotion but your overall take home salary has reduced - Consider this as cost of growth.

And if you wish to compare your hike with other members, please do it in totality, and don't forget the "correction" piece, and keep it to your organization (don't compare apples with oranges) and be fair. AND the last thing, why compare with others - it would not take you anywhere.

Finally, if you are really really good, appropriate care is guaranteed - No organization like to loose good people!

The JOB is NEVER DONE!

Recently I was working on a framework called PresentationPRO – A very simple web based presentation framework in flex.
No, don’t get me wrong, development is not my core function, neither my hobby – just call it my passion!
I love to keep my hands dirty with some technology or the other, as and when I get some spare time. And don’t worry, I also often, have to turn back to “the real techno gurus” for help.
It is almost 3 months I am working on it, and I recollect that during this 3 months I might have declared at least 5 to 6 times that “PresentationPRO is complete – The Job is DONE.”
 

Interestingly, I realize that we seem to have developed this habit of showing immense hurry to declare our job/task as complete or DONE!

AH! that said, by no stretch of imagination that we (most of us) show the same eagerness in actually working towards it.
Culturally, India is blessed with so many festivals (at least 3 to 4 days in a month) that we can switch our minds instantly to the celebration mode. I almost think, this habit as some kind of syndrome.

Here are some of the classic cases where I have heard we say “Job/Task is DONE”

• When one partially understands the requirement (what needs to be delivered).
• When one completes 3 rounds of design reviews/discussion – and not to forget we hear “DONE” after every round.
• When one completes (majority of) the POC (proof of concept)
• When one completes just the prototype (we have to deliver sometimes UI mockup – model as we say)
• When one thinks the task is working at his/her place (machine I mean)
• When one claims that the few bugs found by quality team have been fixed  – Can be a endless loop. The only difference, at this stage is, we start referring as “Now it is DONE”.
• When one claims that the few bugs found on the field have been fixed  – The only difference, at this stage is, we start referring as “Now it is REALLY DONE!” 

None of the above, by any means, is exaggeration.
If we introspect minutely, then we would probably realize, that we indeed have a tendency to declare something as “DONE” - the moment we start feeling the light when, in reality, we are some where in the middle of the tunnel.
I believe, that is the time to actually buckle up and act aggressively rather than dropping the guard with sigh of relief.

Many times things appear so very near, giving a belief that we are almost DONE.

We drop our weapons to get slightly relaxed, that is the time when suddenly, everything gets UNDONE.
Now we see FIRE everywhere - Things that appeared so near are now OUT OF SIGHT.
The struggle begins, when everything seemed ALRIGHT.
I wonder why; why it is only me
Only to realize – “The Last Step”, if had been taken could have done the trick!

I work very hard throughout the weekdays.

It is for that one DREAM which I seek
But, most of the times, Saturday, I invariably need, to TIDY my leftovers of the week.
I get frustrated, I get angry – to see another weekend ditching me.
I wonder why; why it is only me
Only to realize – “The Last Step”, if had been taken could have saved my agony!

After that nice little fact/philosophy the question still remains -

So when can we claim that the “Job is DONE”?

Technically (Practically) from a business (accounting) perspective –
We can claim “Job as DONE” when we receive payment from the client.
We can claim “Job as WELL DONE” when we receive payment from the client + get some more work.
We can claim “Job as VERY WELL DONE” when we receive payment from the client + get some more work + client is willing to act as a  reference to get us more clients.

AH! You might think that this is too much, and sometimes at junior level we do not have the visibility about the same.

We have also heard (know) that it takes a LONG time for good news to spread but bad news catches fire like virus!

So let us just stick to our level – from execution standpoint, when can we claim that the “Job/Task is DONE”?
Strictly from execution perspective we could technically consider “Job/Task is DONE” only when it is accepted by the client, and eventually rolled out in the field.
Until then, I believe that we should continue to buckle up and act aggressively rather than dropping the guard with sigh of relief.

The story is, by no means, over as yet - Coming back to my saga of completing PresentationPRO!
There have been several friday evenings, where I had devised a list of finite activities, and believed that – Once these set of activities are completed – I am DONE!
I work all night (most of the night) and I do end up completing most of the items …so I sleep with peace.
The next day, when I wake up and start pondering over the list I had prepared, to feel PROUD that most of the items have been dealt with – SURPRISINGLY that is when a NEW list is born, which seems to be even bigger than the earlier one, AND my saga continues – The TASK seems to be endless!
 

Is that really a very BAD news AND are we suggesting that we should never celebrate?

Not at all – I am extremely proud to say that our entire web site is powered by the same framework - Though my job is NOT DONE as yet.
And I believe, that is the FUN of the GAME, that it does not END.

Eventually what we celebrate and what we MUST celebrate are tiny milestones – not the end!

Who would believe, the way Indian cricket team is performing today (Jan 2012), that they were the World Champions 2011!!!

So let us celebrate every milestone and add that as a feather in our cap, ONLY to buckle up again for our next challenge!

Appraisal - Are you ready? [Part II]

In our earlier conversation [Part I] we introspected two major aspects regarding appraisal
What does appraisal mean to you?
Are you serious about appraisal?

Let us continue our introspection and discuss the most critical aspect - What is appraisal and how easy it is or can be.

You know and Wikipedia quotes "A appraisal is a method by which the job performance of an employee is evaluated (generally in terms of quality, quantity, cost, and time) typically by the corresponding manager or supervisor. It is the process of obtaining, analyzing, and recording information about the relative worth of an employee to the organization. It is an analysis of an employee's recent successes and failures, personal strengths and weaknesses, and suitability for promotion or further training. It is also the judgement of an employee's performance in a job based on considerations other than productivity alone." 

The final frontier - As a student, in most of the subjects I was absolute dumb. I hated subjects like history, geography, social studies, later computer science, compiler construction, statistics, project management etc. In exams when I use to 'just about manage' clearing those subjects, I used to feel 'great' - simply out of this world.
However, courtesy of other subjects, I could manage to be in the top 20 or even 15 in the overall ranking, but never in the top 5 or 10.

Bottom line is be fair when you rank/rate yourself against the criteria in the appraisal form - avoid trying to go overboard just because you felt great or you want to feel great.


Let us now try to figure out how easy/difficult appraisal can be and here is a simple technique - Try answering the questions below as a rapid-fire quiz

Shall we begin: So for the last appraisal period (to simplify assume last 1 month)

1. How many times you have felt satisfied or got the feeling of 'personal sense of achievement'?
2. How many times you have felt good, very good, proud and extremely proud about the activities you have performed?
3. How many times you have shared/celebrated your achievements - felt or you could not stop yourself from sharing what and how you have done with your peers/seniors?
4. How many times you have felt you are doing something important, crucial, valuable?
5. How many times you are completely lost (engrossed) in what you were doing, to the extent that you forget almost everything or you loose sense of time?
6. How many times you have felt eagerness/excited to return to work place asap?
7. How many times you have felt 'Ah just another day - Two punch one lunch kind of day' while coming to work place?
8. How many times you have felt good, very good, proud and extremely proud while closing your day?
9. How many times you have felt dull, boring, dragged while closing your day?
10. How many times you have felt like running away or escaping from the work place?
11. How many times when a problem at hand is solved with the help of peers you felt - atlast done and move on to next problem, a sigh of relief and forget, wondered how you missed the trick, spent some time understanding how it was solved?
12. When you were stuck with a problem - do you consult with at least couple of other members, do you expect them to give you a direction, do you expect a solution?
13. How many times you were/are aware of what is happening around you - in your work place, within your organization?
14. How many times, within your project, you were/are curious to know what other members are doing?
15. How many times you were/are curious to know what members from other projects are doing and how they are doing?
16. How many times you have willingly participated in thinking through or trying to solve other members problem?
17. How many times other members/peers have actively pulled you in a conversation to discuss a problem they are facing?
18. How many times have you set your own time targets/estimates for completing the job/tasks assigned to you?
19. How do you think you have performed i.e How many times you have clocked - just in time, slightly delayed, badly delayed, exceeded your own expectations (completed ahead of time)?   
20. How many times your senior comes to you and enquire about the status - do you feel this as act of micro management, nagging, part of their job, something else?
21. When a job is handed over to you, do you give a sense of confidence/assurity about the job?
22. How often do you communicate (using any mode of communication) with your peers, seniors, higher level authority?
23. How many times the conversation is just a formality, general hobbies - personal plans,a question/answer session, discussion?  
24. How many times the conversation is initiated by you v/s initiated by others?
25. How many times you drive the conversation, participate in the conversation, act as a active listener, act as a silent spectator.  
26. How often do you try to provide, your seniors, a sense of time limit on when and how the job would be or could be done?
27. How often do you appraise your seniors when there is likely to be delay or do you assume that seniors would come to know?
28. How many times you have proposed alternative ways of completing the task?
29. How many times you have given suggestions for the betterment of the overall solution/job?
30. How many of those suggestions were/are at a task level, project level, group level or organization level?
31. How many of your suggestions have been accepted by the team, group, organization? 
32. How many activities have you performed in total (actually completed) = small, average, big, very big? 
33. How many activities have you performed in total (actually completed) = lesser importance, important, very important, crucial?

As you were reading, if you have given (instinctive) answer to each of the question, and if you stick to it, you have already completed 80% of the job.
If you have clocked the time then that is how simple or difficult it actually is.

Now it is just a matter putting it all together - all syntax, clear and concise language and that is it.

Congratulations - You are now Appraisal ready!

Hmm, Is that all?
Not really, Appraisal is associated/often correlated with pay hikes, increments, bonus, promotions. So in the next section we will inspect the key factors that could and does affect these numbers or the final outcome.  

Appraisal - Are you ready? [Part I]

In software industry, appraisal is one of most hyped topic and in context of Indian organizations it is even worse. I believe it could be a net resultant of multiple factors including delivery pressure, demand & supply, retention pressure, maintaining attrition rate, growth targets, dramatic rise & fall of the market etc. 

Appraisal also happens to be one of the most talked about topic among employees.  It is even more apparent for people who are relatively new to their profession. When I say relatively new it can be up to 5-7 odd years of experience, consistently, in the same field or to put it simply until the person feels that (s)he is settled.

As an after effect, Appraisal is likely to bring discontent, disbelief, frustration, more gossips, probably a decision to start looking for newer/better opportunities and/or many other mixed feelings.

Well no one can change the past, but we can certainly introspect some of the possible ways of preventing those mixed feelings!
To do that, let us make a genuine effort, to unfold some of the basic aspects...

# 1 What does appraisal really mean to you?

1. Is it pay hikes (annual increments) and/or associated bonus (if applicable)?
2. Is it promotions and does promotion mean a higher/attractive label or is it higher responsibility?
3. Is it a process (ritual) that is mandatory as per organization norms, and you have to attend?
4. Is it an opportunity to present what you have achieved and/or done differently in the recent past (appraisal period)?
5. Is it an opportunity to present list of (definite) items where you need some support/help/guidance?
6. Is it an opportunity to discuss and revisit your aspirations?
7. Is it an opportunity to discuss and understand from seniors what could be done differently?
8. Is it an opportunity to realign your goals and set newer, more challenging, targets?

In most of the cases it has to be a combination of at least some of the items above and perhaps some more which I might have missed.
As Step 1, it is very important for you to be aware what exactly are you betting upon!

Moving forward, You should have a good understanding about

• the state of market in the recent past + state of your organization
• the appraisal cycles, associated norms and when they occur etc PLUS
• your function, role you play and associated responsibilities 
• acceptable quality standards for work product, set benchmarks etc  AND
• various activities you have performed/delivered in the recent past

If you are not aware of any/some/many of the above, well you have  identified one of your TO DO's.

Let us proceed, Assuming you are aware of all the items above, then the next critical aspect is
# 2 Are you serious about appraisal

1. Do you feel lethargic/obligated/confused while filling the form?
2. How much time (days/weeks) do you take to fill in the appraisal form?
3. How many reminders are needed to submit the form?
4. Does your other activities act as a deterrent (excuse) for the delay?
5. Do you always have something more important on the plate, thus filling the appraisal form takes lesser priority?
6. Does it happen that on the last day you have queries on how to go about filling the form?
7. Do you give sufficient time (justice) to fill the form?
8. Do you consult with peers about how they have approached certain sections in the form - is the process a collective wisdom? 
9. Do you often manipulate answers or keep some (most) of the answers open ended?
10. Do you have to take additional efforts to make the form look good?
11. Does it happen that you need to revisit and make some corrections in the already filled form?
12. Do you believe that appraisal is about you, your career, your aspirations?

Bottomline - Are you appraisal ready?
I don't think you need a pundit to help you figure the answers for the above.If most of the answers for item 1 to 11 is 'yes' or 'may be', then probably you need some work to actually reach to a level where you have self belief and thus be appraisal ready!  

Whenever you are ready, we can further introspect 

• What is appraisal and how easy it can be
• Some typical norms associated with appraisal

We will discuss this in our next section [Part II].